#110 - Stop Chasing. Start Receiving.

There’s a kind of selling that feels like chasing.

And there’s a kind that feels like receiving.

Two completely different nervous system states.

In this episode, I’m breaking down:

• How not to sell from a clenched place 
• What the energy of receiving actually feels like in your body
• Why structure (not hustle) creates confidence
• How foundational clarity allows you to sell without gripping

If you’re overwhelmed, questioning everything, or tempted to burn it all down… this is your reminder that you may not need a pivot.

You may need stronger foundations.

I’m also teaching a live masterclass tonight at 7 PM Eastern:
Build the System That Pays You Back.

If you’re listening on Tuesday, you can still join live.
If not, register and get the replay.

Mindset to Market is a Luminous Creative Production. If you'd like to learn more about our business coaching program and group coaching container, please visit us online at DeborahcSmith.com.

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Mindset to Market is produced by Deborah C. Smith and designed to inspire and support big-hearted creatives in finding their own unique path, building a sustainable business, and creating financial, spiritual, mental wellness and abundance.

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Transcript

 My fellow entrepreneur, if you're feeling overwhelmed or frustrated or alone in this process, or stressed out about money, or confused about what is the next step that you should be taking, and if all of that is making you feel like it's really difficult to figure out how you're gonna make sales.

You don't need to burn it all down. You don't need to pivot again and you don't need to grip harder. Okay? You might just need an energetic shift, a mindset shift. There's a kind of selling that feels like chasing, like pick me energy, and there's a kind of selling that feels like receiving .

And those are completely different nervous system states. So today we're gonna talk about the energy of receiving. Hey there. Welcome to the Mindset To Market Podcast, your go-to space for practical tools and solutions to the everyday challenges of being a creative and soulful entrepreneur living in a material world.

I'm your host Debra Smith, a holistic business coach and marketing strategist. With 17 years of experience, I help my clients bust through mindset blocks and learn daily marketing practices that balance personal wellness with financial growth and impact. I'm here to offer you support with creativity, mindset, practical how-tos, and getting into imperfect messy actions so you can experience daily breakthroughs as you grow.

If you're a purpose-driven entrepreneur building an online business, you're in the right place. Let's dive in.

Okay, so to put this in perspective. I spend a ton of my day auditing, building, and tweaking sales funnels and sales related content, sales related messaging and sales related energy for people. I. And so I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge what a crushing blow of a moment that we're in for women's mental health .

Um, just everything, you know, wherever you stand politically, I think we can all agree that the constant news cycle of systemic abuse against women and children that is being exposed is horrific. And beyond that, it's so disturbing and triggering. It's also enraging. And so right now is a really harsh moment to be chronically online for many women.

So with that said, and understanding that, that's a huge factor in all of this, right? It's about energy. And if you're feeling disturbed, triggered and enraged, it's gonna impact how you show up. Um, but beside that. I see a lot of people, again, especially women at this precise moment who are trying to sell from what I would describe as a clenched place like clenched jaw, clenched gut, clenched energy, just tight.

Fixed energy and wondering as they post this content, is this gonna work? Is this a terrible time to be trying to sell? Is everything just so toxic? Are people too distracted? And when you're in that state, everything feels heavier. Everything feels more stressful. And it can feel, literally feel impossible.

It makes you feel like burning it all down. And of course, I've been there, so I'm speaking from experience. I've felt those feelings before. Um, but I want to tell you a story. One of my clients, , recently held a mini retreat. And she was feeling really reserved at first in her content and posting online, and she was sort of holding back , and I could feel that she was just uncomfortable about being too much or talking about her business during this time.

And so we talked about the energy that she wanted to feel. Right. How would it feel if the retreat was already filled? How would it feel to be looking around the room and surrounded by all these women who had said yes to her idea? How would it feel to be seen as a leader for creating this space, which is so needed right now?

How would it feel to just be herself and say, I created this because this is something that I believe in? And so we got into the energy of receiving and of course her nervous system shifted and she settled into a much more comfortable vision of what was possible for her room from that place. She didn't try to reach 10,000 people.

She didn't try to go viral. , On social media, she just calmly and confidently reached out to the women that she knew were already aligned one by one, she shared very clearly and confidently. She followed up gently with them. She trusted herself. She trusted in her work, and slowly she filled up that room.

Not from a place of urgency or panic or forcing the thing, right? But from this very calm, steady place. And so what struck me about this and, and you know, I think is important to, to relay is that not just that she made that shift by envisioning it and, and giving herself permission and space to do it, but how she felt while doing it.

Right. She was no longer chasing a sale. She was simply open and available to receive new people coming into the space. That's the energy of receiving and it's, it's really different than, picturing every person who might buy something from you as a sale or as attached to money.

That's what brings a lot of the clenching, and I know that it's very real when you have bills to pay. So if you're thinking, yeah, but I need to make my monthly rent. And so that's why I'm clenched and, and tight and stressed. I get it. Trust me when I say I've been there, um, the bills are real, but for me, when I'm open to receiving, when I get into the energy of receiving, I feel excited to connect and share what I have to offer with people.

I feel nourished. I feel prepared. I know the answers to the most frequently asked questions before they're even asked, and I'm excited to tell the answer, right? I'm not scrambling for language. I'm not trying to perfectly explain anything. I'm not trying to convince anyone. I'm not chasing anything. I'm just focused on how I can be of service, and there's expansion.

In my breath, which brings expansion in all of the other parts of my body, my shoulders drop and relax. My muscles un unclench. And I feel open, right? And this is very different than the energy of, please let this work, please let somebody buy the energy of, you know, refreshing stripe constantly, or posting and immediately checking to see who saw my thing?

How many lit likes did it get? Did anybody comment? Right? That nervous, frantic energy of like needing somebody to respond to the content or to the offer. The energy of trying to prove something, right? So receiving is not a passive thing, but it's also, it's not magical thinking either. It's not, some super woowoo thing.

It's not pretending to be confident. It's actually shifting into a place of. Of believing in yourself, of, of believing in the worth, of the value of the thing that you created. It's knowing that your work is really good. It's knowing who your work is for, right? And it's knowing the structure that holds it all together, like having a really clear container for the thing that you're selling.

And so here's the part that a lot of people miss, right? And what brings this down to earth and what makes this. More of a tangible, sort of data-driven thing is that that open energy of receiving. It doesn't just come from mindset, although it is a mindset shift. It's a choice you get to make, but it doesn't just come from that alone.

It comes from having structure around your work. So when your offer is clear, meaning you understand exactly, you know what the value is that you are giving, the transformation that your offer delivers so that you can talk about it. When your messaging is aligned with that and the people who are it's best for see themselves in your messaging.

See, you know. You talking about the problem that they have in a way that makes sense to them when your funnel makes sense, meaning literally that all, just the underground connected tissue is lined up correctly and it's a very simple, seamless flow for somebody who is a cold customer to, you know, find you.

When you understand that part, right? When you understand how someone moves from discovering you to paying you, you stop. Grasping you stop clenching because you're not guessing anymore. Right? Guessing creates panic. So building a structure is what creates that safety net for you, because that structure creates that safety. Safety is what creates an openness in your body and an openness and a willingness that allows you to be receptive to be in receiving mode. So. Partly this is a mindset shift, but, and partly it's a physical energetic shift that you usher in, but a lot of the times it comes from putting in some work, putting in some of those reps that I was talking about a couple weeks ago.

And creating that clarity in your structure, in your offer, et cetera, might look like, doing market research it might look like making some decisions about colors and messaging. It might look like building a webpage or a sales page.

But the clarity that comes with doing that type of work, that setting up those foundations really does open. Space up inside of you, because a lot of the stuff that's swimming around in your head, that's creating that mental tension, which leads to that physical tension, that clenching, we talked about that.

That gets dissolved when you make some of these decisions. Another really great example of this is, uh, this shift is my client, Cindy, She's a breath work facilitator and a yoga teacher. And for a long time she was stuck in a cycle of one-to-one work and. Really gig work, right? So the most money she could make would be if she had a private client

or if she had a really big event that she was teaching at . But there was nothing consistent. And so she started posting motivational and,

emotional content on the internet, sharing her story of transformation, sharing her origin story, talking about the work she does with people, but she had no pathway off the internet into any kind of a system, and so she was. Posting more and talking more about her stuff and having a lot of breakthroughs with, with messaging, connecting with people.

But she wasn't able to sell anything because she had no clarity on that. So, we met and we started working together and we really worked on her core elements like the.

Just putting together a very basic container and a structure where she could host a one to many virtual event. And so after working on that and building those little foundational things, she went back to that same messaging and now she had a pathway for them to walk. She had a place to invite them to.

She had crystal clarity on how they would get from. Reading something she wrote that was on the internet into a paid container and how to retain those clients and turn them into private clients or higher ticket things that she started building. So no theatrics, no countdown timers or drama or anything like that.

She started just simply sharing from clarity about how she could actually help them and people responded to it, not because she was pushing. And, you know, jumping up and down to sell. But because she had actually the opposite, she had settled in and she felt so confident and excited and grounded in what she created, that it was an easy thing for her to talk about and sell.

So when you're certain. Even quietly. Certain people do feel it. It's an energetic thing, right? It's the, it's the energetics of sales. So again, when you believe so deeply in your own work that you're no longer performing, you're just offering the thing that you created, something genuinely shifts and that can be felt in your physical being, right? Your energy shifts, your nervous system settles down, it gets, it becomes more grounded.

You stop shrinking away from opportunity. You stop chasing validation, and you stop apologizing for taking up space. You show up naturally. As you are right, you share what you do. You allow for people to see you as you are, and you allow yourself to receive the income from people who want to pay to be around that energy.

Your confidence, your clarity is magnetic, and that's the energy of receiving. And so if you're not sure how to cultivate that, the best trick that I use for myself and that I use with my clients is to to imagine. You're on the other side of the launch or the post or whatever, you know, the sales call, whatever it is you're doing, where you have sales messaging to convey and imagine that you've already done it and it's already gone perfectly and you already got what you wanted.

You got paid the amount of your offer in full. The client is thrilled, the contract is signed, the start date is clear. You know your work is being received as valuable, and you are about to be paid. Imagine that happening and, and feel how it feels in your body. Like really, truly envision yourself on the other side of the sales messaging or the sales event, and feel how it feels to have one to have received, to have achieved the goal.

You set that feeling of confidence and relief and joy and. Pride for having created something that someone else found valuable. All of that feeling, that's the energy of receiving. And so, you know, if you're not there yet, of course that does not mean that you're broken. There is nothing wrong with you.

You are actually, you're just a normal entrepreneur having an everyday experience. But it may mean that you're need to take a look at your foundations. It may mean that some part of your offer or the pathway from, cold traffic to a purchase is, is not. Locked out. And when your foundations are shaky, your nervous system knows it.

That's when you brace, that's when you clench and start to doubt, right? Not because you're incapable or inexperienced, but because you're not structurally supported. So this is why I care so much about building actual revenue infrastructure for people. This is why the, the. Cornerstone of everything I teach is offer clarity, because when you really do the work, do the research, talk to people, you know, market research on pricing, see who else is selling the type of thing you sell out there in the marketplace, and look at how they're doing it, what, what type of structure seems to be working.

Of course, we're not gonna copy anybody, but what's out there already that you can learn from? This is not hacks or trends. This is not having to be super loud or, trying to be on every platform all at once all the time, which is just crazy making and not something I recommend. But this is like clear, grounded, sustainable systems that you can build a very simple system.

And when that structure is solid, you don't need to hustle for every dollar. You can sit back a little bit and take a deep breath, right, expansion, right? Once again, creating space to receive trust the process,

and I am teaching a live masterclass Tuesday, February 24th at 7:00 PM and I'm gonna be talking a lot about the structural pieces that allow you to move from chasing to receiving.

If you can make it live, I recommend it. 'cause I'm gonna be sharing some really gold nuggets. It's a small room. The people who have signed up and registered are focused. Um, they're in there trying to learn. Reach some goals. So it's, you know, it'll be strategic and grounded. So if that's what you need right now, if you need.

Some structure and some strategy and a little bit of accountability, . Then I would love to have you join me for that event. It's called Build the System That pays you back and uh, I'm gonna be talking about. , These foundational things, so join me for that.

But the big takeaway that I want you to know after listening to this is that you have the power right now to shift your mindset and to choose to relax your body and relax your mind around sales and to shift into the energy of receiving. And it's a powerful choice to make. And I recommend some type of mini ritual.

Anytime you post any type of sales content, anytime you do a sales call, anytime you're at an event and you're speaking about your offer, if you're on a networking call and you get to talk for a minute about what you do. Before you do it as preparation, envision yourself on the other side of it, envision yourself having had an amazing experience, having been well received, having, you know, having a great hair day.

Whatever it is that you need to do to get grounded in energy of gratitude, receiving, and just, excited but from like a connection and sharing place. That's gonna help you talk about your offer and sell it, and that's gonna help you muddle through some of these really harsh times that we're in right now that make it hard to, to feel safe talking about your work.

I feel it every single day. I just have been doing this for a very long time. So i'm just practicing this art of expansion. And relaxation and, and learning to receive. And it is a practice.

So that my friend is, what I wanna leave you with is get out there and practice. If you wanna get in the room with me, come tonight at seven o'clock and let's do this together

I'll put the link in the show notes. All right, i'm gonna end it there on a high note of receiving and I hope that you feel good. I hope you're warm. I hope you're safe.

And until we meet again, may you be vibrant.