#81 - The Energetics of Successful Sales Part 3: Learning to Receive

Sales isn’t just about strategy — it’s about energy. 

In Part 3 of our Energetics of Successful Sales series, I'm peeling back the layers of why launching feels so draining, why asking for the sale feels “icky,” and how to shift into a receiving mindset that supports both your soul and your bank account. 

Listen now for:

• real-world examples of shift
• tactical sales script rewrites
• personal mindset rituals 

All are designed to help you stop over-giving and start receiving with confidence.

 🎧 Plus: Are you ready for my new private podcast The Premium Client Energetic Self-Audit?? 

For those who want to go deeper with this work, this includes 6 short episodes of zero-fluff tools and practices to help you clear away the blocks so you can open up the flow to sell your offers joyfully. 

Join us here--> The Premium Client Energetic Self-Audit

Mindset to Market is a Luminous Creative Production. If you'd like to learn more about our business coaching program and group coaching container, please visit us online at DeborahcSmith.com.

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Mindset to Market is produced by Deborah C. Smith and designed to inspire and support big-hearted creatives in finding their own unique path, building a sustainable business, and creating financial, spiritual, mental wellness and abundance.

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Transcript

 If the part of doing business where you have to actually ask for the sale makes you tense up or freeze, or if the thought of launching your product or your service into the public space leaves you feeling really drained or emotionally wrecked afterwards, then pull up a seat, my friend. This episode was created specifically for you.

It is part three of our mini series, the Energetics of Successful Sales, and today is all about receiving. So I'm gonna share the emotional labor that most women don't talk about when it comes to selling and how I learned to stop leaking my own power in the process. And I'll also walk you through some real world examples of how to shift the way you speak the.

Sell and receive without getting cringey. So let's get right to it. Hey there, and welcome to the Mindset To Market Podcast, your go-to place for practical tools and solutions for the everyday challenges of being a creative and spiritual solopreneur living in a material world. I'm your host. Deborah Smith.

I'm a holistic business coach with 17 years of experience, and I help my clients bust through mindset blocks and build a daily practice that prioritizes your business's financial growth as well as your personal health and wellness. I'm here to offer you support, creativity, mindset, practical how-tos, and getting into imperfect messy actions so you can find balance while building the dream.

Business. If you're a purpose-driven solepreneur, who's working on that dream one day at a time, then you're in the right place. Let's dive in. Hey there. Welcome back to the show. Thank you so much for tuning in today. It's a pleasure to be with you. And. If you have not been listening to this little mini series, this is actually part three of a three part series on the energetics behind successful sales.

And so I do recommend that you go back and listen to episodes 79 and 80 where we talked about worthiness and visibility and it's, you know, you certainly, you can just keep listening, but they sort of do build incrementally on each other, so. Today I really wanna talk about the art of receiving and some of the subtle shifts that we can make in our body language, in our thinking, in our just mindset that help us.

Prepare to receive, and that sort of soften the work around asking for a sale. So if you've been following along, then you already know this. This series is really just about some of the inner work that goes into showing up with more confidence, with more grace, and with the ability to truly just do these types of business interactions without a huge emotional toll.

And I know just how hard this work is. Here's what I wanna say before we dive into the tactical stuff today. This work has really changed me. I've been sharing this for the last two weeks, but you know, for so long, sales felt like an energetic mismatch for me. I was constantly proving my value instead of actually just receiving with trust.

So that looked like over explaining the offer over accommodating people who did buy into the offers. And then just like overthinking every single aspect of a launch in general. Every word that goes into an email, every word that goes into a social post, every conversation on a sales call, you know, every word like scrutinizing, judging myself very heavily, um, holding myself back in so many ways.

You know, sometimes it shows up like perfectionism, but generally speaking, I think it's just an internal narrative that I was carrying. And something really changed for me when I started to integrate this true self-worth practice. So I started to show up much more like the women that I wanted to be after the launch, right?

I used, I started to learn how to embody the woman who had all 10 seats filled, or who had the $30,000 launch. Not this like sort of desperate, hungry, frantic version of myself who really needed people to say yes in order to validate my value and my worth, right? So the difference was. I was valuing myself and heading into these sales situations already knowing that my offer had value as opposed to like hoping someone else could prove that to me by saying yes.

And that shift has genuinely changed everything in my business. Um, I'll never forget a client DMed me after I shared a story. This was actually kind of recently, but it, it, it feels. Like a sort of a fine point on after, you know, a decade worth of really deep work. Um, I did not pitch in this post, I didn't list the 12 features.

I simply said something like, this offer is for the woman who's done being the helper and who's ready to receive. And that was what somebody needed to hear. And this woman messaged me and she said, I feel it in my gut I'm in. So instead of me, you know, listing a hundred different ways in which I'm gonna give, give, give, give, give to her.

And trying to prove with my social post that I'm worthy. I just kind of said, this is for the woman who's ready. And that was it. But it was the energy with which I wrote that post that made the difference, right, and the confidence with which I shared it. And so in general, this work has really helped me and so I really, truly hope it helps you as well.

So let's talk about the core content of this podcast episode is really the energetics of receiving. So we're gonna talk about patterns that show up regularly in our wor, you know, in this aspect of sales. We're gonna talk about that ick feeling of asking and what's really going on there. We're gonna talk about how to reframe it, as always.

And I also wanna share sort of some tactical language shifts that you can employ today. So we're gonna talk about how to go from leaky energy to leading with your content. And then also I've got a few tips like rituals really and mindset practices to share with you for learning to receive. So let's not hesitate starting with this pattern, right?

So let's name the pattern. Okay. You're not doing anything wrong, okay? You're not broken. All of those cliche statements are true. You are not wrong or bad, and selling isn't supposed to feel like. Your soul is getting sucked out of you. However, if it does feel draining like that, if it feels cringey, if you feel truly like, ah, this is so uncomfortable, it's probably because you are trying to sell from a place of depletion, right from this low hum of nervous energy that says, oh God, are they gonna, are they gonna judge me?

Are they gonna like this offer? Is this the right price point? Am I annoying them with like. Three and four emails and sharing this content again. And what I see all the time is, is people pouring everything into a launch, from emails to Instagram stories, to like late night Canva edits, and then not seeing the results that they hoped for.

And when I say I have been there, trust me, I have been there. I talk a lot about. Some of my earlier launches on this podcast, and there's many, many times when I was undercharging, undervaluing myself and then didn't have a good successful launch because I was not leading with competence. So it's, it's truly exhausting to try and sell from a place of depletion.

Because selling for many of us becomes this massive energetic output. It feels like so many moving pieces, right? We're doing so much emotional labor to show up and hold space, but we're also holding space for is these invisible fears. Right. Just think about we're we're holding space for their questions.

We're holding space for their, you know, objections. We're prepping for a negative reaction before people even show up. And here's a very hard truth. Selling is not supposed to be about caretaking your audience's emotions. Your job is not to make other people feel comfortable. Your job is to lead them to a transformation and leading from.

A depleted emotional place instead of an aligned, activated place is why so many, like truly brilliant, caring, experienced, talented women really dread launching because so much effort goes into creating all the content and the graphics and the emails, and then it's time to actually do the thing and you're exhausted.

So we have to look at this pattern and ask, how is this showing up in our lives and why it's time to stop selling from like a survival mode. So let's talk about what's really going on with. The ick and the cringe, right? The ick and the cringe of asking for the sale. So that cringey tighten your chest, feeling that pops up when you hit publish on a sales post, or when you go to send that last chance, you know, email or when you write the investment is $2,000 and your entire nervous system just goes into like panic mode.

So what is that? It's not just fear of rejection, right? Because presumably you've got the experience and you've done the work to create an offer that is actually quite valuable. What this is is an identity level mismatch. It's an identity level discomfort. So for a lot of us, for most of us, especially women, and I know there's so many men out there who are gonna identify with this and relate to this as well, and thank you men.

I know that. There are many of you listening, even though I'm constantly addressing women, I appreciate you leaning into my feminine, you know, feminist forward, um, messaging here. But for the men too, it's just for a lot of us, we were raised to be helpful, humble, and accommodating, right? We were. We were not raised to ask for what we need, and so for that reason, asking for money feels really emotionally risky because it's not ingrained in our identity, right?

It's not part of our ident ident identity programming. So we were taught to earn value through overgiving. We were taught to be easy, to be likable and to be soft. So when we launched something powerful, something that we absolutely know could, could create a transformation in somebody's life, something that could move somebody from feeling stuck or not having what they need to.

Getting their need met and feeling relief. Even though we know, we know we have the value to give, we know we have the tools, the steps, the proven method, whatever it is, we still feel like we have to perform worthiness before we can ask for money. And this is where that cringe comes in. This is where the ick gets you right in the gut, right?

That's where we start convincing overexplaining and then spiraling because all of that work to to convince, to overexplain and to sort of prove our worthiness. It is exhausting. That is the drain that is the problem, is that at our core identity, we don't believe that we can just confidently put our offer out there and then just receive the money in exchange for it.

We have been taught and programmed, and it's part of our ingrained identity that we must be to overextend ourselves. And like I said, be helpful, humble, accommodating, and really truly like perform our worthiness before we can ask for value in exchange. So that's. Like an inside job, you know, that's really work that we have to go deeply inside and say, where did this begin for me?

So, I mean, there's tons of great resources and I actually have a couple of my favorite books that I've read, um, to help identify this stuff in my life. Actually, a great one I can recommend right now, and I'll put the link in the show notes, is, it's called Money. A love story and it was written by Kate Northrop.

Um, if you don't know who she is, she's the daughter of the great Dr. Christine Northrop. And, um, she wrote Women's Bodies, women's Wisdom, and so yeah. Anyways, money A Love Storyhill. I'll link in the show notes is a really great kind of a workbook on how to identify. Um, any worthiness blocks that you might be struggling with.

So here's the truth. When you show up with clarity, crystal clarity, you know exactly what you're talking about, and you have calm leadership, you literally do not have to convince anybody of anything. Like when you take the time to clarify your offer, and you are calm in guiding people from where they are to where they need to get, there's no convincing necessary.

It's just simply. Here are the steps to take. It's just an invitation, right? The energy of receiving in a sales context is about knowing that your offer already holds value. It's about knowing that you already hold value. You're not taking anything from anyone. You're not begging any, you know, begging them for anything.

You're opening a door. For someone else's transformation to occur. Yes. Even if you sell a product that is just like a one time you know thing, every sale is an energetic exchange. And the right clients for you will feel that shift in your own body, in your words, and in your energy when they experience your leadership versus your lack thereof.

So the reframe. Is sales is a portal for receiving. Okay, so let's reframe this entire conversation. Selling is not about asking someone to do you a favor. Selling is not about asking someone to do something that they don't want to do. It is a portal to receive in exchange for the value that you give.

It's a portal for you to receive connection. It's a portal for you to receive trust. It's a portal for you to receive aligned money that is equal to the value of the transformation that you offer. It's a portal for you to receive personal growth, okay? For both you and your client. It's an exchange. It's, it's a, it's a relationship that is based on a valuable exchange.

So after doing a tremendous amount of inner work, now when I sell things. First of all, I make sure that I'm so crystal clear about my offer. I don't sell things that I can't put my stamp of approval on. I often test things in the marketplace and get feedback from real clients. And I do that either by offering a discounted price or sometimes I even give away products for free, but in exchange for them committing to doing the work so they can give me feedback on where there are gaps, where they're missing something, where they fall off and don't feel interested anymore.

Like as a person who creates courses, it's really helpful for me to get test runs, so, but I offer it confidently and I ask for their commitment in exchange and I ask for their. Thorough testimonial and feedback. So anybody that does a free thing with me or a discounted thing with me, I'm getting them to commit often in writing to give me honest unabridged feedback.

'cause what I need from them in exchange is clarity on how I can improve and make the offer rock solid, right? But so I trust that my offer has value. I trust that the women that are right fit for that are gonna know it when it's time for them. And I trust that I can hold space for people who say yes without having to hustle, without begging, and without shrinking my own value.

And so that shift makes all the difference. I'm not selling to prove anything. I'm selling to be of service. So I'm showing up in the energy of this work is ready to go out into the world who is ready to meet me here and get the value. And it's not for everybody. That's the thing we have to understand.

Uh, if someone declines to buy an offer from you. That's okay. It's, that's just not for them. There's either another person who delivers it in a different way. It's not the right time. Maybe they genuinely don't have the money at the moment. Like there's so many reasons that people say, no, it's not about you.

Okay. Your job is to find the people for whom your offer is a right fit. And lead them to the sale. So that's the same energy that I want for you. I want you to show up confidently without hustling, without begging, without shrinking yourself, and sell from this place of grounded belief instead of emotional burnout.

So this is all about receiving and learning to. Confidently just open up that door for the exchange. And so the energy of receiving the money, the support, the clients, and the abundance that you're, that you're working so hard for and is, is basically understanding that you are already worthy and you already have that value whether or not they buy.

So it is very much a put the belief and the values first. Let that resounding confidence lead. So that's all fine and good, like we can talk about that till the cows come home. Except. We need to put it into practice. And so here I wanna offer you some tactical language shifts that might help you in real time.

So let's just like rewire some of our go-to sales phrases. So these are so subtle you guys, but listen up and you'll hear the difference. So instead of saying. If this feels aligned, no pressure, but here's the link to check it out, right? Instead of saying that, try reframing that to, Hey, if you know this is your next step, I'd love to support you inside my offer, right?

So look at the difference there instead of if this feels aligned, forcing them to go consider whether or not something feels aligned. Hey, no pressure, but here's the link. You're leaving them completely out there to do their own work and thinking there's no leadership there. Versus if you know this is your next step, which oftentimes if you're in a sales conversation, the person knows they need the help, right?

I'd love to be your support system, or I'd love to support you inside my offer. So you're, you're putting yourself out there confidently saying, I know there's a lot of people out there who can help you with this, but I'd love to be the one big difference. How about this one, instead of saying. Let me know if you have any questions.

Okay. Or if you wanna chat about this. Once again, you're leaving them to walk away. Instead of saying, let me know if you have questions. I wanna chat. Try saying, here's where you're gonna find all the details. If you're ready, I'm holding your spot. So like, letting them know that there is a space for them, giving them concrete information so they can make that decision.

Um, here's another one. I hear this all the time, and I used to do this all the time. People say, I totally understand if it's not the right time, okay? You're literally giving them permission to ghost you. Instead of saying, I totally understand, if it's not the right time, try saying, you'll know when it's the right time for you.

Trust yourself. I'm here. When you're ready. Can I tell you? I went through my sales messaging, especially like all my emails, and I found hundreds of places where I was letting people walk away from me. Now, maybe they were not a right fit for me, but it didn't matter 'cause I was leaving, leaving the door like open for them to just walk away as opposed to.

Saying, I see you and I trust you and I'm here when you're ready. Like that is confidence and clarity while also saying like, no pressure, right? But instead of saying no pressure, I'm saying you'll know when it's right for you. I'm here when you're ready. It's just a whole different frame. Okay. And then here's another one.

Instead of saying, I'm just checking in one last time to see if you're interested. Right. Which is like kind of cringey. Um, you could say something slightly different, like circling back in case your gut says, yes, this door closes Friday. Give them clarity and I should add that. When you create a deadline for a sale, it should be a real deadline.

So if you're saying, you know, let me know by Friday, that's because after Friday you're moving on and you're not, the doors are no longer open to negotiate that. And so there needs to be authentic deadlines involved. Like don't just make up a deadline, but then. It's actually the next day the sale is still on.

You know what I mean? Like that's sort of that. What that does is build distrust in you and your offers, and if you have an offer like my, my one-on-one coaching services that are kind of. They're available as long as I have room on my calendar and I'm not necessarily always in launch mode. What I do is I set up a, a short timeline from when I meet somebody for the first time and make them an offer to when I will follow up with them to when I will do a second follow up.

And. It is really important to follow up with people because that's often, they need to be reminded and often they need to see how you interact with them before they decide to work with you. So this is more for like coaching and course creators, um, than necessarily product based businesses. But I do think that this is the same even with products because.

Really the energy of how you present your offer is what's gonna lead them to the sale. Okay? So those are just some tiny shifts. Um, but they do really radically shift the energy from proving energy to inviting, right? That's gonna take you from please like me to, I know my work changes lives. And that's what we wanna do.

We wanna illustrate with our words and with our energy. That we know our own value and it's up to them to decide if it's a right fit for them. So I wanted to offer you a couple of ritual type mindset practices for receiving energy. Okay? So number one, you can start your sales week by journaling on the question, how would I show up if I already knew five people were going to say yes this week?

Okay. How would you behave if you knew already that five people were buying from you this week? Like how would that change the way that you acted? Would you take extra time in the morning to go for a long walk? Would you, you know, knowing that that money was coming in, would you set yourself up for some personal self care?

Would you eat differently? Would you talk differently? Would you feel differently? Get your, get yourself into that feeling of how it would feel and how you would show up if you already knew that there were five people saying yes. Okay. And then a second. Great practice is something that I call holding the pose.

So when, when you make an offer, rather than allowing the space between you and that offer, that sales call start to consume you and give you a ton of anxiety and like checking constantly to see if you got an email back from them. And checking to see if anybody liked your post. Instead of chasing or crumbling because you don't know yet and you haven't heard, just let your offer breathe, right?

You got into a confident place in order to make the sale. Make the ask now. Just hold it. Hold that space, hold that pose. Let it breathe. Let your work speak for itself. Let them think it over. Let them decide. Don't chase them. Don't even worry about them. Focus on yourself and move forward. And I believe it or not, that's a powerful practice because the, like, really quick follow up with Chay proving energy is like a, it's like, it just repels people.

And so learn to just breathe. Okay? Let your offer breathe, let yourself breathe. Hold the pose. Uh, another great sort of mini mindset, ritual practice is to block your energy leaks. Okay? So stop obsessively. Refreshing your feed. Stop second guessing your voice and rewriting your emails like 10 times. Just anchor in to the belief that you are enough.

And so when you feel that sort of hungry ghost energy that sort of obsessive need to that compulsion to check, I want you to just take a deep breath and just say, I am enough, and block the leak. Okay. It's, it's a practice for you. This is the inner work that is going to build confidence and strength inside of you that is going to help you learn to receive, and I know these sort of sound, I don't even know if it sounds witchy or whatever, but the, the reality is, is that if you are lacking self-worth around your offer and it is coming from this inner sort of weakness, the best thing to do is focus on that and breathe into it.

And release those blocks and, and really strengthen that up. And that is exactly why I created the private podcast that I am just about ready to drop. And so it's called the Premium Client Energetic Self-Audit. It's six short episodes. Okay? And this is gonna literally help you do this inner work, this self-audit around where you might be leaking in your sales copy on your sales calls.

Where you might be. I mean, perhaps you're at a point where you haven't even launched your offer yet because you're terrified to fail. So if that's going on for you, this isn't just about mindset, right? This is about energetic alignment in motion. If you have a dream for creating a successful and financially profitable.

Personal brand and business, you have to address this work. It's going to keep coming up until you do so. Um, in the private podcast, I'm gonna walk you through six quick but very powerful shifts. Okay? Each episode is a little mini practice. It's gonna help you stop or we're giving, recalibrate your power and learn to receive with a lot bigger, a lot more ease.

And it's gonna launch next week, and I cannot wait to get this to you. For those of you who have been already requested it and got on the wait list. I'm so, I'm so excited to work with you in this private podcast. It's free. A couple people have asked me if it's a paid, uh, offer. It is not. It's totally free.

And how you get it is you go to the show notes wherever you're listening to this podcast right now. Click the link and sign up to be on the wait list. The second that the first episode is available, everybody on the wait list is gonna get it, and then you'll get the series of emails that release this.

The episodes in real time. It's that simple. And you can also just go to my website, which is debra c smith.com. That's D-E-B-O-R-A-H-C-S-M-I-T h.com, and you'll see a link for the wait list there. And then, like I said, once it's published, you'll get the first episode and you'll get the series. All right.

So I hope that you decide to join me for that private podcast. And once again, it's called the Premium Client Energetic Self-Audit. And that's literally what it's about. It's really asking yourself the hard questions of whether or not you're ready to receive high ticket offer exchanges. And if not, what's blocking you.

And it's, it's designed to help you really level that up. So here's just what I wanna leave you with. When we talk about finding our dream clients, what that literally means is not just that they're people who have enough money to pay you. What that means is it's like matchmaking. It's, it's that you are your personality experience, you.

And ideas and methodology and product or service is a really good fit for somebody. And those people are absolutely 100% out there. But not only are they happy to meet you, eager to work with you, love your price point, all that stuff, but when you work with them, you leave feeling fulfilled. They leave feeling energized and fulfilled like that's a real dream client relationship.

And so your dream clients don't want your discount code, and they don't wanna see you hustling. They are looking for leadership, okay? They're seeking confidence. They want your full presence, and they want you to show them the shortcut to get where you are so they don't have to wade through all the muck, right?

They want confident leadership from you. And so that begins by learning to receive. It's not just making a sale, but it's like a belief in yourself that you indeed are worthy. It's the allowing yourself to be seen, right? And then once you get to that final point where you're making the sale, it's allowing yourself to receive.

So this entire series worthiness, visibility and learning to receive are they all work together. They're all just a single facet of a larger thing. And if this hit home for you and you're really feeling like this is the work you need to focus on, do me a favor and hit reply to either the email that you got this from, or there's a link in the show notes where you can just send me a message.

And let me know, and I'm happy to share more details as the private podcast gets ready to drop. And just until then, you guys, I want you to take up space. Be proud of the work you're doing. Don't be afraid to get paid the value that you are worth. And just remember, your visibility is generous. You are worth every penny that you charge for your offer.

And. Your confidence and your ability to receive is giving permission to others to do so as well. So it's really a powerful practice. Um, it's, it's actually a lot of fun. Once you get into selling from this place, it's actually great fun because you get to connect with amazing people and it's just becomes so much easier.

And then of course, bonus, you start making a lot more money and then you start to see it all work. So let's do the inner work. Let's keep showing up and believing in ourselves. And until next week, may you be vibrant.