#80 - The Energetics of Successful Sales Part 2: Visibility

Being good at what you do isn’t enough these days. 

You also have to be seen doing it. 

In this deeply personal episode, I share how fear of being visible nearly paralyzed me during my business pivot, the childhood wounds that shaped that fear, and how people-pleasing sabotages premium client attraction. 

If the thought of going live on Insta or making slick VSL's makes you cringe or hide, this episode will crack something open and help you reclaim your voice.

Plus: I reveal the full outline for my upcoming private podcast, the Premium Client Energetic Self-Audit. 

This includes 6 short episodes of zero-fluff tools and practices to help you clear away the blocks so you can open up the flow to sell your offers joyfully. 

Join us here--> The Premium Client Energetic Self-Audit

Mindset to Market is a Luminous Creative Production. If you'd like to learn more about our business coaching program and group coaching container, please visit us online at DeborahcSmith.com.

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Mindset to Market is produced by Deborah C. Smith and designed to inspire and support big-hearted creatives in finding their own unique path, building a sustainable business, and creating financial, spiritual, mental wellness and abundance.

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Transcript

 Hey. Hey friend. Welcome back to The Mindset to Market Podcast. Today I am sharing part two of my mini series on the energetics behind successful Sales. And if you haven't listened to part one yet, I highly recommend that you start there. We cracked open some powerful truths about undercharging, about trying energy, about proving energy and the deep rooted beliefs that quietly sabotage us, right?

That show up in our pricing and our sales confidence and conversations that we have. In the online space. So today we're gonna shift gears a little bit into something just as crucial and maybe even more confronting. Uh, I know for me it is, and that is your visibility being seen online. Because being good at what you do is not enough.

Honestly. You have to be seen doing what you do at this day and age with clarity and authority. That's what's gonna call in premium clients and make it very easy for you to. Show your work and get paid. So let's dive right in. Hey there, and welcome to the Mindset To Market Podcast, your go-to place for practical tools and solutions for the everyday challenges of being a creative and spiritual solopreneur living in a material world.

I'm your host. Deborah Smith. I'm a holistic business coach with 17 years of experience, and I help my clients bust through mindset blocks and build a daily practice that prioritizes your business's financial growth as well as your personal health and wellness. I'm here to offer you support, creativity, mindset, practical how-tos, and getting into imperfect messy actions so you can find balance while building the dream.

Business. If you're a purpose-driven solepreneur, who's working on that dream one day at a time, then you're in the right place. Let's dive in. Okay, friends, we have to roll up our sleeves for this one and get honest about. How uncomfortable it feels to constantly be visible in today's online space. And, um, I just, I know how difficult this is, so I wanna, I wanna be tender, I wanna be, uh, a bit.

You know, to speak about this with a bit of grace, but also I wanna keep it real with you because the whole point of me doing a podcast is to help you get unstuck, to help you move through any blocks and to share my experience having done so, so that it's not, you don't feel as alone in that work, and that you feel like you have, you know, some semblance of an idea of how to address these issues in your own life, in your own business.

So, um, and I wanna just apologize because I have been in the garden like all last weekend. I was really deep in the plants, trim trimming and pruning, and I had like, such a severe allergy attack. So I know I sound really raspy, but we're just gonna go with it. Okay? So. Visibility feels vulnerable, visibility feels uncomfortable, and even oftentimes just downright cringey.

It just, it just is, especially when you're doing things like trying a new trending reel or like adapting your own ideas and stories into some of these AI templates. Like if you're using AI to create content like it, it feels out of alignment and cringey because a lot of times we're. Working at a surface level, and we haven't taken time to do the deeper work of truth telling for ourselves.

That makes it all feel like it clicks into place. So here's what happens. We know that we're here to be leaders. We know we have something powerful to offer. We know. That we have something, we, we do good work, that we get good results, and yet we, we pull back and we hide. We dim our light, we dim ourselves.

We don't wanna appear too shiny, too loud, too bright. And so what that looks like inside your business is tinkering behind the scenes, right? Tweaking the website, rerecording that reel, obsessing over. Canvas slides that maybe people might see, right? But at the root of all of this, it's not strategy that's the problem.

It's the fear of being fully seen in your power, in your strength and visibility requires you to believe. In yourself. It requires you to believe that your voice, your face, your story, and your offers deserve to take up space. And if you don't believe that, you're gonna hide from that until you're ready, right?

So you're gonna continue to hide, you're gonna continue to dim and, and not get seen, and then therefore not get hired as long as you. Don't believe that you, your voice, your face, your story, your offers deserve to take up space. So instead, you're gonna hide behind educational content that has no call to action, right?

Or generic value And educational posts that are like giving, giving, giving, giving, but not actually saying, can you come exchange? Money and for my time. Um, how about hiding behind product names instead of using your own personal brand? And asterisk that because I'm gonna talk about my own major, fail with that.

And then, um, also just having a really beautiful, pretty brand. Like I see people pour themselves into their colors and their fonts and not. Feel safe asking for their price that they need to get paid for their business to be functional. So a beautiful brand that nobody buys from is another sign of you hiding.

So you know, it's like an invisible wall that you're behind. And if people can't see you and know with clarity exactly how you solve the problem that they have, then they can't hire you. There's a lot of different ways to be seen and be visible. So this is not just, you know, Instagram reels or social media.

It could be conversations that you have on a networking call. It could be, you know, you got invited to a special event and it's an opportunity to shake hands with a lot of people that, in your niche, that could lead to business partnerships, could lead to referrals, but you hide and you shrink because you don't feel safe being visible.

So I wanna share a couple of ideas with you in this podcast about how we get to this place. And I also wanna share a reframe with you of course. And as always, I'm gonna highlight a few next steps. So let's dive into what I think of as the nice girl trap. Okay, so good girl energy. Nice girl energy that is.

People pleasing. This is the energy of being agreeable, being super helpful, being sweet, relatable, easy, but those characteristics, well, all positive and, and I love all of those. Those are not magnetic because they're not leader-like because they don't define and set you apart from. You know, the sea of vanilla messaging that's out there, and it's definitely not speaking to premium clients.

So high ticket sales, no matter what you do, if you're a coach, a consultant, a service provider, somebody who's created a course, you know, at some point you will develop a signature offer that is sort of a bread and butter high ticket offer. That's how your business is gonna function, most likely, whether that's a retreat or a program, or a one-on-one package, uh, to help people get a result.

So you wanna be able to easily call in those premium clients. Premium clients are out there looking for crystal clear solutions to their problem and are happy to, to part ways with, you know, 2000, 4,000, 5,000, $10,000 without blinking an eye when they find the right. Fit. So it's less about money for them, it's more about can they absolutely get the results that they need to get?

And so if you're sitting there knowing you can help them get the results, knowing that you are the best at what you do and that your, you know, particular method is going to get results, it's really important that you learn how to become visible so that you get seen by those premium clients. And, and create those connections.

And honestly, in a world that is as noisy and flashy and chaotic as the current online space, it's easy to default to being sort of palatable and sweet and nice and good. So we edit ourselves, right? We, we don't wanna like be too pushy. We don't wanna be too. Um, punchy. We don't wanna be controversial. We water down our message and then we blend in.

So we kind of check the box of creating content and putting it out there. But unfortunately, when it comes to sales, that mediocre nice girl, good girl, people pleasing type co content is exactly not what. Is going to attract your future customer. That premium client, nice girl energy, does not move people to take an action.

So we need to keep in mind that only a small percentage of human beings who are going to encounter your digital content are even in the mindset to make a purchase. So I think the stat is like less than 30% of people on the internet are. Have a buyer mentality, meaning are actively seeking to make a purchase, meaning are willing to click a link on the internet and buy something in order to solve a problem.

So that's not a huge number to start with. It's only 30% of the people that use the internet are willing to or actually buying in that any given moment, right from that small percentage of people. They're not out there scrolling the internet looking for nice people to chat with. They're looking for a solution right now to a real problem that they have.

So to be clear, I'm not really saying that, you know, I'm not saying don't be nice and I'm definitely not saying go out and be a, you know, contrarian jerk 'cause I don't love that. Right. But I just wanna clarify for you that to be moved to action, people need. R really clear messaging and clear truth telling, and to trust instantly that you are a leader who can help them get there.

So, nice girl energy does not cut it. It doesn't do it. Good girl energy does not work. And it's really sucks because I am hardwired to people please. And so for me, this has been just an absolute. Struggle, like I can't even tell you the number of times I've just wasted so many ti, so much time, weeks, months, designing content, you know, entire campaigns that were built around this sort of people pleasing, nice girl educational content.

I, when I first got into online marketing, well I've been in basically in online marketing since the beginning of time, but like as the social apps started developing, like when Twitter first came out and when Facebook really started becoming a thing. I, I did so many campaigns for my own products and services that were just these proving, trying, pleasing, but people were not moved by it, and it was such a waste of time, you guys, and this really reared its ugly head for me during what I now think of as the most difficult season of my business life, which was the year after 2021.

You know, kind of this full second year of the pandemic after I shut down my juice bar and wellness company in New York City and stepped fully into just business coaching. Um, it's a really rough year and, and I. So I have two other very harrowing moments that rival this moment. Number one. In 2008, I lost my father to a very long, um, kind of ugly battle with lung cancer, and I was only one full year in business with, with that wellness juice bar brand.

And it was just, it was rugged. I mean, I was an emotional hot mess. It was hard to pull myself outta bed. Um, and then later that same year, my original business partner, who I formed the business with in 20 2007 decided that she was gonna leave New York, move outta the state, no longer wanted to work on the company.

Um, and there was no ultimatum. There was no negotiation. There was no, there was really no conversation. It was just an announcement that she was leaving and. Oh my goodness. That was rough. Like, I mean, excruciating to go through on an emotional level, but in hindsight, um, I kind of pushed through those experiences and neither one of them took up.

Even remotely as much energy and space as the year 2021 when I made this giant pivot to start fully showing up as a mentor and coach for women's solopreneurs. So it's work that I'd been doing for years and years and years. I'd been coaching and had lots of business coaching clients, but all of my content, everything about me online.

All of it was related to the Juice Bar and the wellness company, and it was not my name and it was not my picture. So I had built the juice bar business from scratch. I had loyal customers, I had a known brand. I had deep roots in that community. And walking away from it felt kind of like betrayal, E even though it was my life and it was my business.

Um, to, honestly, to them it felt like I was abandoning them a little bit. My clients, and also to the person who built that business. Like I was really terrified to. Publicly pivot. I knew that some people would be disappointed in me and I was so, so afraid to let them down, and I knew that they would probably roll their eyes at like my next big thing.

And I was afraid to be seen, you know, as a fake, you know, right beneath the feel, fear of failure was like people thinking I was a sellout. People thinking that I had to close because I failed people, um, just judging me or not necessarily trusting that I had. The experience and the knowledge to step into this new role, like it was all those things.

And my husband at the time, I remember him like it was kind of funny. Now it's funny, I can look back and laugh, but he calls 2021 and the year my wife had a full blown identity crisis because that is what it felt like. Like every single day I was grieving this process. I was like, like I would break down into sobbing tears and be like, I just can't do it.

I can't show up online. And present myself as this experienced business coach, even though I was, even though I was, I have Dec a decade and a half of marketing online, digital products, working with clients, helping all these other women in the wellness sector build their online businesses. Like I'd done it and done it and done it with success.

And yet, because I hadn't presented it before, I felt like people were gonna just. Not approve. And it was this really big sticking point for me, right. And, and all of it felt like it was being played out on this public platform where, you know, it was just crippling to me. Everyone was gonna see me and think I was a fraud.

Um, everyone was gonna see me and think I wasn't cool enough. Everyone was gonna see me and think. Like, who is she to call herself a marketing coach? I thought she was the juice bar lady. Like this just went through my head to the point where I was imprisoned by it. So it wasn't strategy that was holding me back, it was not being qualified or being ready because I was well experienced and already successful.

But what was really holding me back from announcing my coaching work and feeling safe to. Step into the light was actually something much, much, much more uncomfortable and deeper. So I think I mentioned in the last episode, um, I took a lot of time to do some basically therapy. Like business therapy is really what I think of it as, and.

I used workbooks and read books, and listened to podcasts, and actually spoke to actual therapists and really asked difficult questions. Why am I stuck and afraid to be seen? Why am I petrified to go live or make a video, like if it was about juice or nutrition or anything to do with wellness? I, I had this like shield to hide behind, but when it came to me as a solopreneur or business coach, I, I, I got shut down.

My throat chakra just began to swell up. And what I uncovered in this process was that I have this message going through my head like a little tiny mean. Girl voice in the back of my head, whispering, you're not cool enough to do this. You're not worthy enough to, to be one of those, you know, polished has it all together.

Business people, you're, you're one, you're messy. You're not one of the girls who gets to win. You're, you're not the pretty girl, right? And then I started listening to that voice and thinking like, where the hell did that come from? And I started thinking, you know. Traced it all the way back to being a young, young girl, age 9, 10, 11, like really adolescents, when I actually was quite picked on and bullied, um, for being really overweight.

So it's hard to talk about this, but I'm just gonna do this. So I was, you know, at age 9, 10, 11, I was carrying. A lot of extra weight on my body. I was definitely had like a lot of, it wasn't just baby fat, I was like a fat kid and I used to get so picked on, like I had a lot of, um, just mean judgmental kids calling me terrible names, you know, making fun of me coming up with all kinds of mean things to say at the bus stop during classrooms, you know, and we wore, I went to a Catholic school, so we wore uniforms.

Like even just, I have excruciating memories of being in line to get measured in front of every kid in the school for the uniforms. Like these were painful moments for me.

And ah, man, that fear of being seen and judged really stuck with me and even. As an adult, whenever it would come up, it would like paralyze me. So I, I literally had to go back in time and sort of reparent or like ease the pain of that little girl. Of course, I'm not that person anymore. I've been like, I healthy, you know, fit adult for most of my adult life.

Like, I don't have the same issues. My skin is actually, my nutrition business was really an, an effort to really like transform my own health. So. Anyways, when I say that visibility is an energetic game, I really mean it because that fear of being seen and judged was like crippling me. As you can see, I can barely speak about it without getting choked up, and I know that so many women, I know that you're listening to this and you have felt something like that.

You have felt, you know, any, anyone who's ever been picked on or bullied or mocked or dismissed or maybe just ignored or maybe you know. Felt like you had, maybe you had older siblings who got all the attention or, I mean, there's so many different scenarios where you were not told You're doing amazing and you should keep going.

Like this is very typical, I think. I don't think I'm a unique in this story anyways, my point is that for so many women, you know, especially people who have been through a situation like that, being visible actually physically hurts. It's not just. You know, it brings up memories that sting, that feel like a punch in the gut.

It's not just mental, it's not just emotional. It can physically stop you. It can physically catch your throat, so you cannot speak. You get without getting choked up, like literally, it just happened to me seconds ago. It can feel like nausea. It can feel like cramps in your muscles, like it really is physi physiological on occasion.

So flipping on your iPhone and just like going live. Can be really, really, really hard for people who are allowing other people's stories and, you know, fear of what other people might think and their judgments. Take up space in their head. And honestly, you know, the hard truth here is that avoiding that, that, that those fears is just gonna keep the fear alive, like avoiding does not solve.

You have to look at this and do the inner work. We have to stop letting the ghosts of middle school bullies run our businesses, right? We have to. Shed those excess layers of skin that, that have rooted deeply in our psyche so that our beliefs are kind of tethered to these young life fears. And so I just wanna share that because in case you are fi, catch yourself doing that too.

I want you to know honestly that you are not alone. You know, you could have a gorgeous brand, you could have a brilliant offer and still find yourself paralyzed at the edge of showing up because of something that started in fifth grade with a group of mean girls whose names you don't even remember anymore, who you haven't seen or spoken to in 30 plus years.

Right? So, if that's you, and I know there's a lot of different scenarios that could be paralyzing in terms of visibility. Um, you know, I don't want to go too deeply into scenarios that I can't. Speak from the point of view of, but I've, I have talked to friends of mine who have been, you know, who have experienced some type of sexual assault, um, for whom visibility feels really painful and terrifying.

Right, and people who were raised in foster homes or who were raised by an alcoholic parent or who just generally did not have guidance in their young life of how to build self-esteem and self-worth, there's so many different scenarios that could be creeping in to what's happening right now inside your business.

So you could be a trained expert, you could have really good branding, like beautiful stuff. You could even have the best writing, the best emails, the best marketing. But when it comes time to connect and sell you, you get really scared. Or when it comes time to go live and, and put out some content, you're afraid to post it.

So you hide behind these safe mechanisms, um, but you really are not alone, and also you're not actually stuck. There are things that you can do to reframe this. So let's talk about the reframe for me. What helped me. Is to get, to get out of my head completely. Well, first of all, I highly recommend the block, the Block tool.

Um, honestly, if there is a person who is living rent free in your head, who you are afraid will judge you for any piece of your business. Block them. Block them. I don't care if it's your best friend. I don't care if it's your sister. I don't care if it's some girl that you like as a neighbor or somebody that you know you're gonna run into.

They're not even gonna know you did it. Just block them. It will. It's such a game changer. So use the block button. Um, second. I love the mantra. Visibility is a generous act. Okay, reframe visibility. Is a generous act. When you allow your true energy to be seen and felt. You give your people, the people who need you permission to recognize themselves as well, to rise up and to say, that's what I've been looking for.

That's the help that I need. That's the system that will help me. That makes sense to me. So when you. Become visible and you become clear to the people who need you. You are helping them find their next step that without your visibility they cannot take. And I can give you, I'm not gonna do that on this podcast, but literally dozens and dozens and dozens of examples from my clients where they went from that same fear.

That I have felt myself many times of, of, of posting a reel or putting out like a piece of content that was a little contrarian that would get their client to find them, to getting dms from people saying, I'm interested in your webinar, your training, your talk. Can we get on a one-on-one, whatever? And then finding that person is a good fit client, that person hires them, right?

And then that person gets major results and has a life changing transformation. That they would not have gotten if my client was, was unable to get more visible. So she was it there. It's a generosity to put yourself out there to overcome that fear. It's brave, but it's also generous. Okay. And people cannot say yes to what they can't see.

People cannot say yes to what they can't find, and they'll find somebody else who's putting themself out there in your niche or your fields. They will. 'cause as we know, every single niche is saturated, this giant boom of online businesses. You know, it's not stopping anytime soon. There's gonna be more and more people coming into the online space.

And that's not a problem because competition is healthy and it's just an opportunity to learn, you know, and, and vibe with people. But if you're not visible, people won't find you. So I. You can't really stay hiding behind that fear or your perfectionism if you want to grow. And honestly, I've had, the more I address this in my own life, and the more I talk about it, the much better I get at becoming visible, the much more I heal that wound and the more I help my clients do the same thing.

And right now they're showing up online, they're sharing their work, and they're selling out their offers. So your job as a business owner, as an entrepreneur, as a solopreneur. Is to show up, is to own your space, right? Whatever your mission requires of you, you need to own it, and you need to practice being visible, not for the validation from other people, who cares what they think about you, but to make those connections that are going to change lives.

So we need to totally reframe this as not about pleasing anyone. It's about being seen by the client who needs you and helping them. It is generous. And so anytime you are like, I am freaking out right now. I know I'm supposed to go live. I've got this launch that I'm doing. I'm supposed to be shelling, you know, I really need 10 people in this project, you know, whatever offer for it to make sense financially while those 10 people, if you wanna find them, you need to be seen by and connected to like hundreds to maybe thousands, right?

So just like the law of tens, like we really need to be seen by a much larger audience if we wanna land. Our ideal number of people, um, as clients. So I know that this work is so very deep. Um, obviously it's very difficult work and that's exactly why I am working on my new private podcast. I am literally creating a tool for you that is something that I have.

Honestly that I wish that I had 10 years ago. Um, and is kind of an amalgamation of all of the work that I've done, but I'm gonna make it kind of zippy and easy to consume. So I'm basically creating an energetic. Self-audit for you, which is like a premium client energetic self-audit to really help you discover where the blocks are that are keeping you from easily landing those high ticket clients when you get on a sales call or when you meet somebody new.

So this is really something for, you know, the women who are truly ready to step into premium client energy, who want to have. An easier path for running and operating their systems and their business. It's gonna be off social media, so you don't have to constantly be checking there. It's a podcast, so it's away from all the noise.

It's just in your headphones and it is not gonna be fluff. Um, I'm still recording it. I can tell you it's not just mindset. This is gonna have practical, energetic recalibration. So short, powerful audio episodes that are gonna help you stop leaking power and start leading like the high value woman that you are.

You are already her. You just need to excavate and remove some of these blocks. At least that's how it worked for me and you guys. I promise you. This will help, because if you don't look deeply into what's blocking you from becoming more visible, then you're gonna stay hiding and you're gonna stay failing, and then you're gonna wind up not, you know, making the kind of money that you need to make to justify your business.

So this is actually just a, a means to an end as well. So let me quickly tell you, I'm gonna tell you a peak at what's inside because I've been working on it and I'm so excited. Um, there's gonna be six episodes. The first episode is really the truth about premium energy and kind of what it means to embody high value energy in your body, physically embodying it, and where it gets distorted quickly.

The second episode is an audit for energetic leaks. Okay? So it's gonna help you figure out how trying, proving overgiving, how those are quietly killing your conversions. The third episode is about expanding our capacity to receive literal, somatic, and strategic shifts that are gonna help raise your vibration, raise your receiving threshold, and help you envision that bigger picture.

Episode four is about messaging. It's all about energy that you put into the message and your sales. So how to communicate powerfully without overexplaining it, without having to like, you know, without begging, borrowing, and pleasing people. Episode five is really about magnetizing those premium clients with your visibility.

So we're gonna touch on this subject that I'm talking about today. Contact conversion energy shifts for higher converting marketing. And then the final episode is about. Really calling in the client and closing the loop, right? So it's really about how to lead a sales conversation with calm confidence and no convincing, like really leaning back and letting them come to you.

Um, it took me a long time to learn this and, but once I got it, I got it. And it is an absolute game changer. It is the game changer that we all need. And it's so funny 'cause when you're like scrambling and struggling and you're not making enough money. And you see all these other people online being like, oh, I'm a $20,000 a month coach.

Or I made a million dollars this year, and you're not making money, or you can't even get one sale. It is really easy to hate on that sister. It's really easy to be like, oh great. Yeah, that's 'cause you're like a, you know, you can start judging them back, right? Maybe judging their appearance or maybe you're judging the way that they show up on their content.

That doesn't get us anywhere. All that does is further diminish your own power, um, comparing yourself to other people. It isn't the way. Okay? We, we are not other people. We are us. You are you. You are not the girl who's, you're making you cringe because she's making so much money and you're not making any, like if you have a problem where you notice yourself, catch yourself, you know, cringing and judging and maybe saying negative things in your head about another person's work, that is a block.

Okay? We're gonna get much deeper into this in this private podcast. So if you want that podcast. Let me know. Okay. I am gonna create the, it's almost ready to go. It'll be ready by next week and next week I'm gonna share part three with you of. The energetics of successful sales, which is really gonna be about the art of receiving.

So the unspoken emotional labor that goes into our launches and the ick of asking people and how to really sell without leaking any of your power. So until then, my friend, I want you to take up space. I want you to stay visible. Remember that you are worthy, okay? Completely worthy of being fully seen, just like every single person who has ever been successful.

You are equally as worthy. And if you catch yourself judging somebody or feeling like someone's in your head, block them. Okay? Just do it. Trust me on that one. That is such a huge cleanup. We're going to get into more cleanup, um, in the private podcast, but, and then remember, visibility is generous and that is all for this week.

I hope you have an incredible week. I hope you. Really, this helps you. And if you have questions for me or if you wanna share a story with me, I would love to hear from you. So hit reply, shoot me a, an email, or if you go to the show notes, you can send me a message. Um, thank you to everyone who messaged me last week.

It really meant a lot to me. Like, you know, I'm taking a risk myself by sharing these very uncomfortable stories, but I don't think it's, I think it's only proves that I'm ready to do the work, right? So, I don't know. I hope you are too. And I just wanna thank everyone that reached out. 'cause I, I think it resonated with a lot of people and I got a lot of messages and that was cool.

Um, it's kind of lonely on the other side of the mic. So my, my other podcasters that are listening, I know you guys know. Um, and if anyone is listening to this, who I went to school with in grade school, I mean, you're forgiven. I really don't think it matters anymore because I healed that wound. But, um, I know you didn't.

You. I know you weren't trying to hurt me, so how about that? All right, y'all, let's do this. Let's get more visible. May you all be vibrant.